Anna Cohen, co-founder of Kids & Co Clinical Psychology, formally opened the Double Bay office on the 22nd November 2011.

The new address is Suite 5, 442 New South Head Road, Double Bay, 2028

For Eastern Suburbs appointments please call: 02 8021 2192 or 02 9555 1168  (or click here to contact us)

The aim of good parenting is to raise healthy, well-adjusted children who are adequately provided with the skills they will need in adult life. Most adults begintheir parenting careers unprepared for what lies ahead, and learn their parenting skills through trial and error. Many also have high expectations of themselves inregards to how they should feel and cope with being a parent. Unrealistic expectations can lead to feelings of disappointment or inadequacy. Below are somesuggestions to help you manage the challenges that come with being a parent.

Have  realistic  expectations

Have  realistic  expectations of  yourself, your  partner  and  your  child. As  you   continually  learn  to  be  a  parent  and  meet   the  challenges  you  face  everyday,  remind yourself and  learn  as  they  go.  It  can  be  helpful  to check whether  the  parents  of  your  child’sfriends  all  have  similar  expectations  of  their  children.  In  general,  expect  reasonable  behaviour,  but  do  not  expect  perfection.

Share your Parenting roles

Parenting is easier if you are able to work together as a team. To reach agreement over parenting issues, discuss your ideas on issues such as family rules and how to manage misbehaviuor. From time to time you may have to review how things are ging and makesure that workloads are shared.

Look for the warning signs.

It is importnat to look for the signs that indicating that you are not coping well or are struggling with your role as a parent. If you notice any of the following, consider seeking professional help. Frustration, embarassed at your child’s behaviuor, losing your temper or feeling helplessness or out of control.

Key Steps:

Have realistic expectations of your child and yourself

Enjoy your child and spend fun time together

Look after your own needs and take care of your other relationships

Avoid conflict in front of your child – show them how to solve problems calmly

Get support from your family and friends

If you have a partner work together as a parenting team

Look for information and ideas on parenting

If you are concerned about your child’s behaviuor or the way that you are handling certain situations, look for advice and set yourself goals for change

For appointments please click here to contact us

Anna Cohen, co-founder of Kids & Co Clinical Psychology, formally opened the Katoomba office on the 31st July 2010.

The new address is Suite 6, Level 1, 68-74 Katoomba Rd, Katoomba, 2780

Anna is please to announce the appointment of Nerolie Muller as the Katoomba Team Leader.

For Katoomba  appointments please call: 0450 013 074 (or click here to contact us)

For a happier family life, Give children the right freedoms, says Patricia Flokis.

If we think back to our own childhoods, most of us would be hard-pressed to recall being enrolled in more than one extracurricular activity at once.  If we were bored, we were told to play in the backyard, not escorted to a playground or play date. Our parents didn’t do our homework for us, put more than one toy in the parcel for pass-the-parcel at our birthday party, nor plan their weekends around us. So, why are we becoming super-sensitive to our children’s feelings, fearful of their physical safety and obsessed with doing all we can for them? Here, childhood experts advise just how much ‘parenting’ our children really need, and how best to give it to them.

Why we over-parent…
So why aren’t we following our mumand dad’s more casual approach toparenting, considering we turned out okay?

Clinical psychologist Anna Cohen of Kids & Co. Clinical Psychology agrees that over-parenting can stem from insecurity about how we’ve decided toraise our children. “Whether theychoose to parent the way they wereparented or make a conscious decision to parent differently, sometimes it’snot a good parent/child match,” shesays. “You can then end up withparents who are extremely protectiveand emotionally linked in with theirchild, to a point where it’s almostsuffocating for the child, or parentswho feel they don’t have the skills tomanage problems, so they turn a blindeye to everything.”

“Children observe everything we do,”adds Cohen, “so parents need to modela better way of dealing with their own worries and fears. We want to helpour children become independent by overcoming their own reservations and by building up their self-efficacy – that sense they can do something on their own. Children need to learn to fight their own battles without parents immediately coming to the rescue.  They need to make their own mistakes and learn from them. Parents need to provide love, guidance and security, but we can’t wrap them up in cotton wool. We need to allow them to experience consequences, too.”

Getting the balance right…
If your child asks to ride her bike in the street or climb a pretty large tree, don’t veto the idea outright to save yourself the stress. Ask yourself, ‘What am I teaching my child? Am I teaching my child to be a competent human being?’, says Cohen. “All parents will have different ideas on what’s right or wrong for that particular child at that particular time, but trust is paramount. Allow them to do it gradually. First with you and then without you, when you know they’re trust worthy and doing the right thing.”

In the end, parents should be working towards making themselves redundant, rather than being on call 24 hours a day.

No parent wants their teenager to down a handful of antidepressants  every day to fight anxiety or depression, but that is the sad reality for more than 30,000 Australian families every year.

The decade-long trend of medicating young people for mental health issues continues to grow, with new figures showing 30,706 young people under 18 were prescribed antidepressants such as Prozac in the 12 months to June 2008. In the same year, 4000 children under 10 were also given mood-stabilising drugs, with 500 of them not even five years old.

While it is estimated that one in five adolescents will experience a depressive episode by the age of 18, Australian research reports that even when they are detected, most young people with depression receive no treatment for their problem.  Prescription rates for medicating children and young people in Australia have grown steadily over the last 10 or 15 years, on par with the UK and Europe because of similar health systems.

Research has confirmed the antidepressant category known as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRI), including Prozac and Zoloft, can help young people lift their dark moods and stabilise depressive episodes. It has proven to be helpful for children aged over 12, usually in conjunction with other treatments including cognitive behavioural therapy and interpersonal psychotherapy with trained professionals.

Clinical psychologist Anna Cohen says medication is best used in conjunction with psychological intervention.  “We believe that there is a place for medication for teenagers, but not for all teenagers,” the founder of Kids & Co. Clinical Psychology says.  ”If we have a chemical change on our brain, the medication puts that back into a healthy balance.  The problem is, a lot of parents have heard lots of horror stories about kids on medication and there’s often a comment made to me that young people on antidepressants are more likely to suicide – but that is not the case. There is a huge stigma attached to it.  It’s terrifying to acknowledge that your young person is depressed.”

Physical side effects when first using antidepressants include nausea, headaches, a drop in appetite and sleep disturbance. Medication can mean 36 weeks of active treatment, with most clinicians suggesting it continue for at least six months post-remission.

Did you know?

• 30,706 Australians under 18 were prescribed antidepressants in the 12 months to June 2008.
• Almost 4000 children under 10 were prescribed antidepressants in 2008, including 553 children under five.
• 1 in 4 young people aged 16 to 24 experience mental health problems during their teenage years.
• The rates of depression each year are higher among young Australian females (8.4 per cent) than young males (4.3 per cent).
• More than 75 per cent of Australian teens with serious mental health problems do not seek help.
• For youths aged under 14, mental disorders make up 22.6 per cent of the burden of disease.
• For those aged 15-24, almost half (49 per cent) of the estimated burden of disease in young people is due to mental disorders.
• In 2007-2008, mental and behavioural disorders accounted for 7.4 per cent of hospitalisations for young people aged 15-24.

Sources: Australian Institute of Health and Welfare publication Australia’s Health 2010; Australian Department of Health and Ageing

Sydney Clinical Psychologist Amanda Frawley says aside from the practical advantages of an extra  set of hands around the house, sharing domestic duties can also teach children a sense of responsibilitiy as well as introducing the idea of a positive work ethic.  The earlier the habit is initiated, the more likely it is to stick. As long as the whole family is involved, even preschoolers can be designated tasks around the house.

One of the ways to make them enthsiastic is to let them choose from several activities, as long they aren’t beyond their age and skills. A six year old will be able to stack a dishwasher better than a three year old.  The more likely a child is to become frustrated with a task, the less likely they will want to do it again.

Praise is important too. Children need to feel as if they have succeeded. So be sure to compliment them in a job well done. As children grow older, a pat on the back may no longer be enough to keep the chore train on track and offering money may help as puberty looms. Most importantly it should never be a case of  ”Go do your chores”.

Success lies in making it a group activity along the lines of  ”OK it’s job time”.  Interactivity is a valable tool here, as children generally enjoy doing the things that adults are doing, even including folding laundry or making a bed.

Childhood is an adventure of exploration and new experiences. Offering your children opportunities to participate in extra-curricular activities such as sport or the arts is a good way to get them out of the house and away from the TV.  Children who are involved in other activities are often happier, healthier and less likely to be bored or lured by other temptations. But how much is too much?

Should your child be practicing their chosen passion every day?  Or is a schedule of ballet, piano, netball and tennis, not to mention school, too taxing on a child’ or parents energy?  With so many activities to choose from, hockey, tennis, basketball, music, swimming, singing, it is no wonder kids want to try them all.  Parents often are left feeling like they are just providing a taxi service.

Is there an there an ideal amount of after-school activities which children should particiapte in or does it depend on the child and his aptitude?

Child Psychologist Amanda Frawley from Kids & Co ~ Northern Beaches in Balgowlah,  advises that the needs of the individual child should be the measure and while there are no strict guidelines to follow, two per week was a good rule of thumb.  Every child is different and parents must ensure that they are following both the needs and interests of the child.  Some children can handle a full schedule, others can’t – so it is important to ascertain your child’s capacity.

The right balance of free play and time at home with the family is just as important for a child’s development as organised activities.  It is important to have a home-life that allows connection with other siblings and enough time for communication with parents, as so much development occurs during home chatting eg knowing who their friends are, likes and dislikes etc.

Amanda suggests that parents give children time to adjust to each new activity they participate in, rather than allowing them to try something new each week. You need to pick one and stick with it for a certain period of time but you always need to be on the look-out for any changes, because your child’s interests will probably change throughout their development.  Commitment to an activity can assist in developing skills around responsibility and team work, though, regular reviews of the activity schedule is paramount to ensuring the family are on the right track.